What do you think about the statement, “In order for a marriage to thrive and be long lasting, the partners need to have empathic, non-defensive listening; even when they feel like they are being attacked by their partner”.
To me, this teaches couples that relationships are symmetrical, not one sided. Learning to be genuine, warm, and accepting is crucial in a relationship with a significant other, without it the relationship won’t survive.
When their is resisitance or competition in a relationship, it sets a stage for a hostile, cold relationship. Who wants to live like that?
When partners are able to communicate, even negative and uncomfortable feelings and thoughts and truly be heard, resolution seems to be possible. As long as each individual can express themselves with I- statements; such as, I feel, I think, I want, I don’t want, etc., they can move past hate, distrust, and revenge.
Active, empathic listening is the first step in being able to problem solve within relationships. Even there is no desire to actively, empathically listen to your partner; what is the relationship for?
Healthy relationships truly begin with being friends first and maintaining that friendship as a foundation throughout the marriage. Without friendship it seems like a marriage or relationship is just an exchange of transactions and unhealthy dependencies.
Mindfulness Exercise for Active Listening
Objective: Enhance your listening skills through a mindful approach, allowing for more meaningful connections with others.
Duration: 10-15 minutes
Steps:
Choose a Partner: Find a friend or family member who is willing to engage in this exercise with you.
Set the Environment: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you both can sit without distractions. Ensure that your phones and any interruptions are set aside.
Begin with Breathing:
Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take three deep breaths. Inhale through your nose, letting your abdomen expand, and exhale through your mouth.
Active listening is a communication technique that involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what is being said. Unlike passive listening, where the listener may be distracted or disengaged, active listening requires the listener to engage with the speaker both verbally and non-verbally. This means paying attention to the speaker’s words, tone, and body language while demonstrating empathy and understanding.
Key Components of Active Listening
Full Attention: Clear distractions and focus on the speaker. This includes maintaining eye contact and avoiding interruptions.
Reflective Feedback: Summarize or paraphrase what has been said to confirm understanding. Phrases like "What I hear you saying is..." can clarify any misunderstandings.
Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the speaker to share more by asking questions that prompt deeper discussion, such as "How did that make you feel?"
Non-Verbal Cues: Use gestures, nodding, and appropriate facial expressions to show engagement and encourage the speaker.
Empathy: Acknowledge the speaker's emotions and perspective, demonstrating that you understand and care about their feelings.
How Active Listening Improves Relationships
Builds Trust: When individuals feel heard and understood, they are more likely to trust one another. This trust forms the foundation of strong relationships.
Reduces Conflict: Effective communication through active listening can help clarify misunderstandings and minimize conflicts. When both parties feel listened to, it fosters a more cooperative environment.
Enhances Connection: Active listening promotes deeper emotional connections. When one person actively listens, it shows that they value the other’s thoughts and feelings, leading to a stronger bond.
Facilitates Resolution: In any relationship, conflicts and disagreements are inevitable. Active listening helps both parties work through issues constructively, as it encourages empathy and understanding.
Encourages Openness: When active listening is practiced consistently, it creates a safe space for sharing feelings and opinions. This openness strengthens communication, making it easier to talk about more sensitive subjects.
Fosters Personal Growth: Engaging in active listening can also lead to personal development. Listening to diverse perspectives can broaden one’s understanding and promote flexibility in thought.
Active listening is a powerful skill that can greatly enhance personal and professional relationships. By making a conscious effort to truly listen and engage with others, individuals can cultivate stronger, more meaningful connections.
